so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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