Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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