I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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