You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize