Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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