You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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