ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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