Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize