Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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