Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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