For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it because I queefed?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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