Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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