just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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