I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize