I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
sex in a hospital.. check
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize