Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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