I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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