This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
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You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He did a backflip because drugs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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