he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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