apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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