The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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