found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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