This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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