ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize