so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize