There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize