Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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