Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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