so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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