they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
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My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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