it was like eating out sand paper
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize