My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize