guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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