1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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