You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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