She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize