I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize