After last night, I could never be a politician.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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