Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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