he thought i was a dude.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize