My cat gives me a boner
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i think i just lost a toe
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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