mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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