Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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