Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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