I want to stick my p in your. b.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize