I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize