I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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