You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You ate ashes out of my bong
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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