I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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