My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize